"If you think the way I do， then you must be asking yourself if this truly is the most ridiculous cover for a book you've ever seen。 Just wait。。。when you open the book， it actually makes the cover look normal。 It's not dark yet， but it's getting there。 Cousin Sal is a very smart and brilliant man with as humble a heart as I've been around。 He wants to make others happy and sometimes he does with his checkbook。 But I am truly lucky to call him a friend。 For life。 You will love this book。"—Tony Romo

"For the last two decades， Cousin Sal has been the Gambling Butch Cassidy to my Gambling Sundance Kid — and that's a crucial analogy， because they both died at the end of the movie。"—Bill Simmons

"I swear to God you little shit， if you wrote anything stupid about me I’ll kill you。"—Aunt Chippy

"Sal's a good father and husband， and I have never seen him take a drink。 But he makes up for it by being the most degenerate gambler I have ever seen。"—Johnny Knoxville

“Sal has embarrassed me on live television， in front of Jon Hamm， in restaurants， on the golf course， etc。 The fact that I am still here recommending this book is a testament to how great a friend he is when he's not making my life miserable。 I've never met a man that's as mad about sports as he is and I think he's endured enough pain， the least we can do is read about it。 Also， Jon， if you're reading this: I'm not crazy！”—Rachel Bonnetta

"Rachel。 I don’t think you’re crazy。 Sal， I think you’re a real Pal。 Also， you owe me $400。 I will not accept books as payment。"